Rough Days

Rough Days

You ever just wake up and you’re already not feeling it? Then your day seems to drag! Those are the worst.. but you have to learn to see the good in bad days. Instapray is an app that I live by – it is an app that you can add prayers and others will pray with/for you. You can also pray with/for others. It is very uplifting and has helped me get through many days. Another good way to get through is listening to gospel music, from the start of your day through the end if you have to! God covers us, especially on our worst days ❤️

-JIF

Does social media ruin relationships?

Does social media ruin relationships?

I think that people let social media affect their relationships in a negative way. Facebook and Instagram has changed so much. With DMs and inbox, there are too many ways that someone can be talking to another person secretly. Again, why I say that people LET it affect their relationships. Complimenting another man or woman is taken to a new level with Instagram, especially when you incorporate emojis. But let me ask this, is it a problem or is there something wrong with complimenting someone while in a relationship? I believe that it can become a problem – if the comment is too sexual or in a way of “damn, why can’t you be mine” or something along the lines of trying to spit game. I also believe it can become an issue when more attention is given to someone online than is given to your partner.

In my opinion, people freely flirt on social media mainly because they feel like it’s “just” Facebook or Instagram (these are the most commonly used). People naturally flirt regardless, it happens and usually it is harmless. However, what happens when that simple flirtatious comment turns into messages in the inbox and then those messages turn into exchanging numbers? There can easily be a domino effect, even if those were not the initial intentions. Depending on the discipline of that person and their level of commitment. I would say that social media doesn’t necessarily ruin relationship – people misusing social media do. A relationship ultimately should be stronger than any of these factors! I can say for me personally, I was letting these factors affect me a bit more than they probably should (matter of opinion). I made a choice to work on my relationship having more substance and solidity than what happens on social media!

-JIF

Fairytale

Fairytale

I don’t want the fairytale love,
I know it doesn’t exist.
Relationship are work
But worth the risk.
When you dive head first,
submerging yourself,
Praying that they’re diving too
And not secretly drowning you.
All I want is to be the only one
Don’t sell her the dream
When you’re coming home to me.
Making us both believe,
There’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
I don’t need the fairytale love,
I just need it to be honest
And if that’s too much to ask
Then don’t give me the empty promise.

-JIF

Single vs Relationship – in your Twenties

Single vs Relationship – in your Twenties

In your early twenties, people tell you to enjoy your life and enjoy being single. Around your mid to late twenties, they say start thinking about settling down. I think back in the day, this theory could have worked. But people don’t take into consideration how much the dating game has changed over the years. It seems that no matter how old you are, dating life is tough. Men don’t believe in chivalry anymore – they do what they have to do to get what they want. Once they get what they want, if they decide to stick around, things change drastically. The courting fades along with what spark was there. It is hard to find a man who is serious about a relationship and a future. I believe that a man should be ready for the commitment but how are we to gage or judge when a man will be ready, if he isn’t there when we first meet him. Then we come to a crossroads on how long we should “wait it out” until he becomes ready.

As hard as single/dating life can get, relationships are harder. They take work! From both parties too, not just one person giving 200% and the other giving 50%. First and foremost, once you are in a relationship, I hope that you see a future with that person. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time. Secondly, everyone talks about the “honeymoon” phase of the relationship. I guess this is the time where the love is just so fresh and new and you see no wrong in that person. I don’t really think about this phase – maybe because my own relationship never experienced this. I highly recommend the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book will open your eyes to how to love someone in their primary language! This way, there is no honeymoon phase or end to it. Get to know your partner, become their best friend. That in it of itself takes time sometimes. Learn one another’s desires, values, wants and needs.

I am a person who truly values relationships and marriage. I believe in putting in the work and effort that it takes to keep it thriving. Now, I understand that sometimes, it just doesn’t work – maybe it was the wrong person or wrong timing. But what I don’t believe in, is simply throwing in the towel when thinks get a little shaky. Every couple argues, but it’s resolving each disagreement that helps to keep the relationship going. I am a firm believer in, “don’t go to bed angry.” Although, I must admit, it doesn’t always work like that in my own relationship. Work in progress. But I would love to get to that point. It takes both people putting aside their pride and apologizing. Or agree to disagree if it comes to that! We are human, we all make mistakes – be willing to fix the mistake. It’s only a mistake the first time, after that it is a choice. Recognize what traits ARE that person and what may have been a one-time mishap. Be forgiving, but don’t be a fool. Know the difference.

Hey I’m no expert, but I can speak from experience – having been on both sides. And being in my mid-twenties, I can say that single life is not for me. I just pray to God everyday to guide my relationship. Prayer changes things!!

-JIF

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband

I am far from perfect
But I swear I’m worth it
I can get a little emotional
Sometimes my thoughts take me over
Sometimes I may not say it enough
But I will always appreciate what you do for us
I promise to be all that you need
More than any other woman could ever be
Your best friend, your partner in crime
Teach me new things about life
I pray to God for you everyday
Pray that we grow in love in every way
I pray that He is always protecting you
Especially when I am not strong enough to
Everyday I am working on me
Trying to grow as a woman and a queen
Trying to become what a wife should be
And I promise when you buy that ring
I will be ready
Ready to give you everything
A deeper love than we have already reached
There’s no one in this world
That I would rather be on this journey with
So to my future husband
Here is to our forever in bliss.

-JIF

Weight Loss – The Struggle is Real

Weight Loss – The Struggle is Real

So I think most women and maybe some men have this same struggle. I say women though because it seems like weight just melts off of men and then they build muscle so quickly. When I first started my weight loss journey, I lost 30lbs and I have successfully kept it off. I have come to love my body and my shape, but I could stand to lose another pound or 10… Hell 20 really! Diets just don’t work for me; I need more of a lifestyle change than a quick fix though. But when I tell you that eating healthy is a struggle!! I do well for a while and then all of a sudden I want a burger or better yet some Mexican food (it’s my favorite)! I recently got a FitBit to help motivate me to workout, now I just need to get the eating right together. I need help!

-JIF

 

MCM | Jesse Williams Drops Truth Bomb During BET Awards — If You Blinked

It’s safe to say Jesse Williams put us all in a trance last night at the BET Awards. Only it wasn’t his gorgeous green eyes that had us hypnotized, although it always helps, but his truth bombs about cultural appropriation. The Grey’s Anatomy star lit into those who love to bottle up our slang, our […]

via MCM | Jesse Williams Drops Truth Bomb During BET Awards — If You Blinked

Falling in love with Yourself

I looked at my reflection
And finally admired her
The woman looking back at me
I saw her true beauty
Her strength and her tenacity
The pain behind her eyes
The fight behind her smile
I saw her worth
So I decided to treat her better
She deserves the world
And I am going to give it to her.”
-JIF

I think that at some point in life, most women find themselves lost and don’t even realize how they got there. Typically from loving the wrong man or maybe just at the wrong time. I know that I went through an extended period of time where I was so lost and it wasn’t until I was out of the bad situation, that I noticed what was happening. I was so busy trying to love someone else that I forgot I needed it too. I guess you could say I forgot my worth. It was not at the forefront of my mind. I went through battling anxiety and battling insecurities. Loving yourself is so important because happiness begins with YOU. You can’t expect for someone else to make you happy – people add to our lives but we have to already have the joy inside of us. Find yourself first – that journey is one that is priceless.