Now I guess I missed the whole fuss about Kaepernick to begin with, but you mean to tell me that the biggest thing going on in the world right now is his decision to sit down during the national anthem?? He was right to sit, his stance was absolutely just. And this vet’s perspective is exactly right.. America doesn’t have respect for a race but expects that same race to respect the flag, that quite frankly is a joke. Everything that America is supposed to stand for is a joke, or at least for a certain race.
To shame this man and call him everything in the book, except a man of God is completely wrong. Here’s the thing about respect, you still need to give it to an individual even if you do believe his decision was wrong. He stood up for what he believed and that’s more than can be said for most people. No one should have to pay for standing for their rights. Too many people, specifically African Americans, are still pretending like America was built for us, to protect and love us. Wake up.
I know we’ve all been there, where you get lazy and just can’t seem to bring yourself to workout. I mean you can’t lift a weight or nothing. So what do you do to motivate yourself to get back up?
For me, sometimes I’m able to just push myself because I haven’t reached my goal yet. Which btw, I really don’t have a weight goal so much.. just when I see it, I’ll know I’m there. Might sound crazy but since weight is carried so differently, it’s hard to put a number of it. With that being said, I know I still have a little ways to go. But lately I just haven’t been feeling exercise, especially after working all day.
So I decided to try something else. This morning I got up at 5:30am and I exercised! Felt good too, I must say. Now let’s just hope I can keep this up because I am so not the morning person! This was an accomplishment for me.
The change wasn’t sudden
It started slowly
Drifting away from friends
All because of him
He was in full control
And you had blinders on
At first it was just arguments
Mean words about how you were worthless
Cursing back and forth
Because you weren’t dealing with this
Until he began
To break you down
Leaving room for more abuse to come in
A “playful” hit here
And a “love” tap there
This is when he knew you weren’t going anywhere
He would play his hand well
One card at a time
Until one day you wake up with a black eye
Then filling your friends with a million lies
About how you would never stay in the abuse
Scared of how they might judge you
Scared nobody else would love you
But sadly you can’t see
That he’s buying your love,
Because your silence is not free.
So I just read a blog post about this topic and it inspired me to write my own version.
Now, I am speaking from the perspective of someone in a relationship. Things in your life will most definitely shift once you are no longer single. Friends should not be one of those things. Especially friends who have been there for you long before the relationship came into play. Understand, you are now having to share your time so yes it will be a little bit more work. But the moment that you begin to neglect your friends for your significant other, is the moment that you slowly begin to lose said friends.
For example, every time you are invited to do something with your friends and you begin to flake. Flake meaning, you don’t show up with no valid reason or you find an excuse to not come for no valid reason… With your significant other always being at the center of that reason. Excluding prearranged plans made with your mate of course. Trust me when I say, your friends can see the change in you and they know the difference. Your behavior has drastically changed and you’re no longer dependable the way that you once were.
Now, growth is a relationship is all too welcomed. But ask yourself is it growth or is it change for him.. Not for the better. And I know how hard it is to see this when you’re deep in it. However, if the friendship is true, you can sense the shift. You can feel it. What makes things more difficult is when your friends feel that you can do better. Not in a sense of, he has hurt your feelings or he has made some little mistakes. It’s deeper than that. It’s the blatant disrespect, name calling, belittling, abuse – both physical and mental. Sometimes when were blinded in relationships, all we want to do is defend our mate. But really take a step back, check your mate and then check yourself.
You know, so often we try our hardest to change people and truth is, you can’t. Not in a forceful sense anyways. But people can and will change for the right person or the right reasons. Over time I have learned that the harder to push someone to change their behavior, the harder they push back. People struggle to correct themselves, especially when forced.
Try changing yourself. This doesn’t mean if someone isn’t treating you right, that you’re the problem. Sometimes, though, people get comfortable and take others for granted. So, when someone starts to take you for granted, stop doing those things that they aren’t appreciating. Trust and believe, a change in you will spark a change in them too. You can only control your own actions. Shift your focus and notice how someone will start to change along with you.
We have to teach people how to treat us. And if they care, they will change their behavior. I think Steve Harvey said it best, “Every man can change. Every man will change. But a man will only change for the right woman.” Try it. Change yourself and if a positive change in you doesn’t spark a change in him, maybe you aren’t the right woman. (This applies the other way around to – a woman will and can change for the right one.)
I think what a lot of people fail to realize, is that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you aren’t required to agree. But you should at least have some respect regardless. I’ve heard some pretty ignorant opinions, but I’ve learned how to shut up when my difference of opinions is matched with my irritation. Everything doesn’t warrant a response and I refuse to argue with closed-minded people.
What becomes more frustrating is when you have people who shove their opinion down your throat, especially when you’ve already expressed something different. You don’t have to repeat 10 times that is “your” opinion; I heard it the first time. It was just as ignorant the 10th time. This is when I simply become quiet. Again, why argue with someone who only wants to see their point of view. Too many people listen to respond instead of listening to understand what is being said. It’s fine that everyone feels differently, we’re supposed to. But we’re also supposed to respect one another’s differences. And if we actually opened our ears and our minds, we’d be surprised at what someone else’s perspective could offer.