So I just read a blog post about this topic and it inspired me to write my own version. 

Now, I am speaking from the perspective of someone in a relationship. Things in your life will most definitely shift once you are no longer single. Friends should not be one of those things. Especially friends who have been there for you long before the relationship came into play. Understand, you are now having to share your time so yes it will be a little bit more work. But the moment that you begin to neglect your friends for your significant other, is the moment that you slowly begin to lose said friends. 

For example, every time you are invited to do something with your friends and you begin to flake. Flake meaning, you don’t show up with no valid reason or you find an excuse to not come for no valid reason… With your significant other always being at the center of that reason. Excluding prearranged plans made with your mate of course. Trust me when I say, your friends can see the change in you and they know the difference. Your behavior has drastically changed and you’re no longer dependable the way that you once were. 

Now, growth is a relationship is all too welcomed. But ask yourself is it growth or is it change for him.. Not for the better. And I know how hard it is to see this when you’re deep in it. However, if the friendship is true, you can sense the shift. You can feel it. What makes things more difficult is when your friends feel that you can do better. Not in a sense of, he has hurt your feelings or he has made some little mistakes. It’s deeper than that. It’s the blatant disrespect, name calling, belittling, abuse – both physical and mental. Sometimes when were blinded in relationships, all we want to do is defend our mate. But really take a step back, check your mate and then check yourself. 

-JIF

4 thoughts on “Balancing friends and your relationship

  1. Yes you’re right. One can sum this up by knowing that ‘we break up with our lovers and not our friends.’ Friends last longer than lovers do in our lives even though it might be too hard to understand.

    Liked by 1 person

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