Growing up, I always had tough skin. I was so carefree when it came to what people thought about me. In a way, I still am. What bothers me most is how people treat me, especially in relation to how I treat them. People have been very disappointing & too often, I expect people to have a heart like mine. They don’t.

I believe I have spoken before about my issue with letting go. Probably more than once. It really has always been a struggle & a process… but then once I’m done, I’m done. Instead of having a process of letting go, I really need to get to a place where it’s just done. When I look at how my older sister handles things and people, I wonder how can I be in that type of space. I realized, though, she is a mother who has 3 other humans depending on her. I’m no longer the only person looking up to her. Even though sometimes I feel that she is too tough, I still admire her ability to not let people affect her.

I find myself in a place where I am rebuilding myself and I am wondering how or where I begin to develop tough skin again. Become carefree again. Although I don’t particularly have the answers right now, I’m hoping to come back with a reflection on how I achieved reaching new levels within myself.

– JIF

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